Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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