Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
