you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
