it wasn't lemon gatorade
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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