I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
