You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
