He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
why do cheetos always look like penises
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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