Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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