Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
