I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
