i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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