If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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