I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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