I just cut my nipple shaving
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
