You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
