how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
