you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I need water and some morals
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
