Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
