I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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