My brain says no but my pants say off.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
