Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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