wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
