her vagine was all disorganized.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
