We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
