I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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