I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
