WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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