How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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