I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
