Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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