I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
