Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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