make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
