Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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