i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
