Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
im holly from the hills drunk
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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