He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He shit in the fireplace
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