Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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