who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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