Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
