the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
