i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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