i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
