The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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