I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
