Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
