You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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