Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
