? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
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