so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
