No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
