Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
my sisters under your porch take her home
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
then he tried to convert me to islam
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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