Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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