He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
